Indecisive, Lonely, Angry, Afraid or All of the Above after divorce?
Self-help advice is everywhere these days, so if you need to rebuild when feeling alone, indecisive, lonely, angry, afraid or all of the above, you have plenty of resources at your disposal. Get stared with our 7 tips to rebuilding after divorce.
1. Rebuilding (After Divorce)
The first step is simply to recognize the position you are in. Take a look around you. Your divorce is final and your life lays in front of you like a vast ribbon of highway. This may thrill you, terrify you, or leave you feeling at a loss as to what to do next. And that’s okay. Take time to recognize that most everything is different for you now, but that you also have limitless possibilities and options to explore when the time is right for you. There is no rush to rebuild after divorce, rather time spent healing will pay dividends in the future.
2. Make healthy choices after divorce
What would Grandma say? Make sure you are eating well, even if that means cooking for one person. Try to get lots of sleep. Get some exercise. Get some fresh air. She might tell you to wear a scarf, but we won’t. Be comfortable and be well. When you are well – physically, mentally, and emotionally – you are best able to make sound decisions and move forward towards finding your new happiness after divorce.
3. It is ok to grieve after divorce
As with any loss, divorce can be a difficult adjustment. Many people recognize a loss when they get a divorce. They have lost the comfort and companionship of having another person in their world. Your spouse may have gotten the family pet. Maybe the kids are with you less than you’re used to. Maybe you just miss knowing there is someone else around.
No one can tell you how much, how little, or how long to grieve the loss of what is important to you. Divorce represents something different to each person. It’s okay to decline invitations for a while, or choose to be alone while you deal with these emotions. Change can be hard. Give it time.
4. Use Your Friends
Through the good, the bad, and the ugly, your friends have been around. And they have probably seen the good, the bad, and the ugly while you worked through your divorce. Take advantage of those people after divorce. The people who support you while letting you be yourself are a great resource as you get back on your feet and find your new happiness.
5. Get help after divorce, if you need it.
You’ve been through a lot. Not everyone bounces back after divorce quickly. Sometimes, a newly divorced person has a hard time accepting the position they are in, especially if they did not initiate the divorce or even want it in the first place. Your friends can only do so much, and even they will begin to tire of your sad eyes or depressed expression. It’s okay to reach out for support from a therapist, counselor or other professional, especially if you feel like your mood is getting in the way of your everyday life. Talk to your doctor for a referral to get your emotional and mental healing underway sooner rather than later.
If you feel like some pieces of the divorce are not yet in place and you need help, please let your Findling Law lawyer know and we will work through it with you.
6. Explore and Discover (You can be happy after divorce)
Post-divorce is the perfect time to find yourself again and discover who you are now. It may have been decades since you considered yourself an individual. Even if you were only married for a few years, you are older now and not the person you used to be. Explore new activities, events, and interests, and discover what may be of interest to you now.
- Your local library likely has programs for adults to help you learn some computer software, discuss a book, or start a hobby.
- Take on a new project at work that opens your horizon to something you never knew existed or didn’t think you could work on. We’re not suggesting you add to your plate, but a little change from the ordinary might be nice.
- Take up fitness. Being healthy is a great goal, and working towards it can take your mind off of other things. It doesn’t have to cost a lot, either. Go for a walk or take a hike in a state park. Join a cycling group, bowling league, or take golf lessons. It gets you moving, puts something fun on your calendar, and can help you meet new people, too.
- Join a service organization and do some volunteering. Every community has them and volunteers are needed everywhere. You’ll feel good about yourself when you help others.
7. Don’t Obsess About Romance after divorce
Well, we’re certainly not going to give you advice about romance, but most every source we checked seems to say the same thing: Don’t rush into a new relationship. Here’s your chance to meet new people and figure out what you need from someone new.
Rebuilding after divorce
Other people may try to tell you that you are moving too quickly or are taking too long to leave your past behind. You should listen to them, but always come to your own conclusions about whether or not they are right. You can and will be rebuilding after divorce. Our goal here at Findling Law is always to help you be in the best possible position to move toward your new happiness. If, at any time, we can be of service to you, please contact us.
Additional Resources You May Find Helpful
About Findling Law:
I have been in practice for almost 20 years and practice exclusively in divorce and family law. My practice includes several attorneys who share the core value of practicing law to help people navigate change in their life, without compromising principles. We have extensive experience in high socio-economic, high profile and high conflict cases which has nurtured a skill set applicable to all divorce and family law cases regardless of socio-economic status. We recognize that it is the application of the law that is most important aspect of practice. That is why we provide more free information on divorce and family law than any other Michigan law firm.
We want to help you manage your situation. Let our exceptional legal team help you . . .
Local: +1 (248) 399-3300 – toll free: (877-YOUR FIRM)
After hours emergency?: +1 (707) 968-7347
Or email me at: Daniel@Findlinglaw.com
By: Daniel Findling