The decision to divorce – How to decide. Is divorce in your future?

The decision to divorce is not easy. After all, you committed to stating married “for better or worse”.  While some people get married for the wrong reason, others were once built on love and mutual respect which has evolved to disdain and conflict. How to make the decision to divorce?


The decision to divorce – Why?

As a practicing divorce lawyer for over 20 years I ask every client what factored into their decision to divorce. For some, they simply fell out of love. Others complain of unmet expectations, financial problems, a loss of intimacy, loss of identity arising, or the fallout from an affair. I was surprised to find that for many, the decision to get divorce was motivated by their spouses unwillingness to address an underlying mental illness (I include drug and alcohol abuse in this category).

The decision to divorce – Avoiding divorce.

Successful marriages navigate conflict with compromise and a commitment to remaining married. However, if only one party is willing to compromise, compromise is not an option and the decision to divorce is easier.  On the other hand, if both parties are willing to work on the nature of the problem(s), divorce can often be avoided and the chances improve with therapy.

The decision to divorce – Is divorce right for you?

The decision to divorce rests on the individual. Is he/she willing to work on the nature of the problem? Is the other party? Does he/she want to salvage the marriage or are they done?

Simply put, the decision to get divorce rests upon both parties’ commitment and desire to make the marriage work. If one party is unwilling to do so, divorce is inevitable and probably the right decision.

While, many marriages survive unmet expectations such as financial problems, a loss of intimacy or an affair. When one party is unwilling to make things work or has contempt for the other party, few marriages survive. In a recent Huffington Post article, the identifies five considerations in the decision to divorce. However, we suggest a cost-benefit approach:

  1. Do you believe your life will better off if you divorce?
  2. Do you believe you will be happier married or divorced?

We believe that everyone has a right to be happy. If your not you may want to talk with us about your options, including divorce. If you make the decision to divorce, we provide exceptional representation and are ready to help you now.

About Findling Law

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Phone:+1 (248) 399-3300
After hours emergency?+1 (707) 968-7347


I have been exclusively practicing divorce and family law in Michigan for over two decades. The attorneys at Findling Law all share the core value of practicing law to help people navigate change in their lives, without compromising principles.  We specialize in high socio-economic, high-profile and high-conflict cases, while also working with clients of all backgrounds. We recognize that the most important aspect of the practice of law is the application of the law to your specific circumstances.That is why we provide more free information on divorce and family law than any other Michigan law firm. We want to help you manage your situation. Allow our exceptional legal team to help you navigate the change in your life, without compromising principles.

By:  Daniel Findling

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