Careful thought and deliberation should be used before deciding to get divorced. Deciding to stay or leave takes courage. Many people divorce because they are unhappy and seek divorce as a mechanism to regain happiness. There are three alternatives to divorce that should be considered:
- First, discover and address the nature of the problem in the relationship. This can be accomplished via professional counseling or otherwise, and usually requires a long-term commitment from bothparties to be successful.
- Second, do nothing and hope that the problem(s) will go away. This is a real alternative for many couples. Sometimes, religious beliefs, a fear of loneliness, loss of a benefit or another concern outweigh the desire to find happiness without a spouse. Doing nothing is also easier than getting divorced as there is no need to address the nature of the problem.
- The third alternative to divorce is to separate. Professionals often advise clients that separateness can be healthy. Separation can take many forms, from separate bedrooms on one hand to a legal separation (in Michigan a Separate Maintenance Agreement) specifically defining the parties’ rights with regard to property, children and other rights and benefits.
A person will usually experience some form of denial, shock and confusion before being able to decide whether to remain or let go of the relationship.
In any case, every alternative should be considered before deciding to get divorced. Choosing a competent family law attorney will allow you to focus on you and he/she will evaluate the legal considerations of divorce specifically, the division of property, money, debt and the award of spousal support. If children are involved, the attorney will address issues relating to custody and support.
Your attorney should be competent, compassionate and honest. Acompetent family law attorney knows the law. A compassionate family law attorney will ask the client what he/she wants. An honest family law attorney will tell the client if his/her goals are achievable and will never try to talk you into getting a divorce.